Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In
WASHINGTON—A panel of top business leaders -*test*-('")ified before Congress about the worsening recession Monday, demanding the government provide Americans with a new irresponsible and largely illusory economic bubble in which to invest. "What America needs right now is not more talk and long-term strategy, but a concrete way to create more imaginary wealth in the very immediate future," said Thomas Jenkins, CFO of the Boston-area Jenkins Financial Group, a bubble-based investment firm. "We are in a crisis, and that crisis demands an unviable short-term solution." The current economic woes, brought on by the collapse of the so-called "housing bubble," are considered the worst to hit investors since the equally untenable dot-com bubble burst in 2001. According to investment experts, now that the option of making millions of dollars in a short time with imaginary profits from bad real-estate deals has disappeared, the need for another spontaneous make-believe source of wealth has never been more urgent. "Perhaps the new bubble could have something to do with watching movies on cell phones," said investment banker Greg Carlisle of the New York firm Carlisle, Shaloe & Graves. "Or, say, medicine, or shipping. Or clouds. The manner of bubble isn't important—just as long as it creates a hugely overvalued market based on nothing more than whimsical fantasy and saddled with the potential for a long-term accrual of debts that will never be paid back, thereby unleashing a ripple effect that will take nearly a decade to correct." "The U.S. economy cannot survive on sound investments alone," Carlisle added. http://www.theonion.com/content/news/recession_plagued_nation_demands?utm_source=slate_rss_1 As usual, the Onion is far more factual than tout sheets like the Welfare Street Journal.

GREEN bubble and heating. Wood pellet stoves are all the rage, price gouging starting already on pellets. Invest in companies that make pellets or have large supplies of forrest land or scrap wood.

There's plenty of bubbles going on right now: oil, steel, soybeans, gold...just about any commodity you can think of these days. It's capitalism: the rich get richer, the poor get poorer, and the middle class shrinks. Basically one giant game of Monopoly. The top 5% have managed to knock all the other players into jail, bankruptcy, or foreclosure and now they own most of the spaces on the board plus all the railroads and utilities. They even own the banker and Uncle Pennybags. And so the rich have way more money than they know what to do with right now. The only way to grow their vast hoard is to speculate. The beauty here is that there's no risk: when they fuck up, they go to the government (whom they've bought up lock, stock, and barrel) with their hats in their hands for bailouts. Either that or invade some country on dubious circumstances and pass GO! and collect over $1 trillion in no-bid contracts and kickbacks when the should be going directly to jail. And than sit back on the beach roaring with laughter while all the idiots blame the right, left, conservatives, democrats, liberals, Clinton, Bush, Obama, etc, etc, etc.